


End to Start

by omnomeevee



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 09:27:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19354186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omnomeevee/pseuds/omnomeevee
Summary: Sometimes you have to end a chapter to start a new one.





	End to Start

Mark sits up right on the couch and looks at Seren, who had stopped talking to him. Her eyes shifted from him to the T.V. and stayed there. He took a deep breath, feeling like he did something wrong. “Ren, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She deadpans, not even looking at him.

He stares up at the ceiling, knowing the tone of voice she has says otherwise. “You’re lying.”

“No, I’m not. Now drop it.” Her heart sinks, but she can’t bare to let herself say anything more.

“I can’t do this.. Not with you. You have to talk to me.” Mark tries to talk calmly, because really that’s all she has to do is talk to him.

“Mark, really. Just drop it.” Seren gets up from laying down and is now also sitting upright. Mark feels like she’s miles away from him.

He wants to move closer, but stays on his side. “Why are you so stubborn?” She shoots him a look. He shakes his head. “Please don’t push me out.”

“I’m not.” Seren looks down, feeling her head get a bit dizzy as she thinks. “I’m.. I’m trying. I really am.” She mumbled, almost quiet enough for Mark not to hear her.

“Then talk to me..”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Well of course I won’t if you don’t tell me.”

“I can’t.” Not yet, at least. She had to get her thoughts in order. She had to settle her anxious mind from all the what if’s that were running around.

Mark gets up, putting on his shoes and grabbing his keys. Seren stands up from her spot on the couch. “What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving..” Mark talks low. He can feel the tingle in the back of his throat as it tightens. “Because obviously there’s something you don’t want to tell me and I’m not going to sit around and feel bad about myself. Talk to me when you’re ready.” Mark stands a few feet away from her but he doesn’t leave. He sees her standing there, arms crossed, her bare feet on the floor and a worried look on her face. His head falls a bit to the side as she looks up at him. He wants to stay, to talk it out but he knows it won’t do any good. They’ll only get tangled up on each other and he’ll go home, beating himself up trying to figure out what was wrong.

“I just need some time to think…” Seren whimpers. She was scared. She was scared that she felt too much. That he wouldn’t be ready to accept that. She worries that she was too much baggage and that he deserves someone better. Someone who wasn’t her. Someone who was easier to handle. Her eyes watered a bit when she saw him looking back at her.

“Then think. I’ll be at home.”

“So you’re upset with me now?” She knew the answer, but she just wanted to hear from him.

“I have every right to be,” He huffed, running his hand over his face. He normally doesn’t feel like yelling, but he can feel the frustration building up.

“I told you to drop it.” Seren speaks back sharply. She slumps when she does, not wanting to take her frustration about herself on him.

Mark exhales deeply as he closes his eyes, trying to calm himself. His hands shook and he bites his lip, and before he could stop himself, he raises his voice. “How do you expect me to drop it, Serenity?” Ren’s heart drops at the tone of his voice and how her full name rolls off his tongue. She couldn’t say anything, and Mark’s voice filled the quiet room as he continued, “I’ve been nothing but understanding with you. I know that you get nervous, I know it’s hard to talk about how you feel. I know that in the past things haven’t worked out well for you. I get it. But Jesus Christ, you can’t keep pushing people out when you get caught in your head. I want to help you, I want to be there for you because for crying out loud, I love you and that’s not changing. But you’ve got to work with me here.” He closes his eyes again as he breathes out. When he opens his eyes, he immediately wants to beat himself up.

Seren looks at him in shock from everything, tears streaming down her face. She doesn’t know when they start, and Mark can feel his eyes get heavy as he looks at her. “You can leave, Mark.” Seren wants to grab at her chest as she says it.

“I’m sorry..” Mark tries to hold back tears. “I’m sorry, are you okay?” He goes to walk towards her, but she backs away from him. Even through his anger, he feels terrible.

“I’ll be fine, just go.” Seren’s voice cracks as she says it. Mark doesn’t move. “Go!” She doesn’t really want him to leave. She wants him to do anything but leave. And that scares her.

Mark throws his hands in the air and storms out of the door, slamming it behind him. Seren lets out a scream and he can hear it from outside. She knocked over a frame with a picture of the two of them in it. It was an accident, but it couldn’t have been more fitting. It hits the ground with a clatter, the glass cracking and splintering over their faces. Mark’s chest clenches as he settles in his car. When he looks in the rear view at himself, he can see the tear streaks running down his face. He rests his head back before he starts the car and drives off.

Seren falls to her knees and looks at the shut door. She hoped that he would walk back in, but she knew better. She doesn’t even bother to go and lock it. She stays on the ground for a minute before Blu walks over and licked her face clean of tears. She wraps her arms around the huge labs neck, kissing the top of his bulky head. She looks around the now empty house, unsure of what to do. She feels sick to her stomach and when she looks over at the picture, she’s in tears again. She can’t bring herself to close the blinds and shut out from the world, because outside, it was beautiful. The sun was bright, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. She knows, because they were out, laying in her front lawn looking up, shielding their eyes from the light. She doesn’t know when she started clutching the shattered frame to her chest. Reluctantly, she gets up and tosses it in the garbage.

A few hours pass, and Nix and WinWin find a sad Seren watching sappy movies alone in the dark, curled up with Blu and a box of tissues. Phoenix drops her belongings at Sicheng’s feet as she rushes over to her side. “Who’s ass am I kicking? Is it Mark? I’ll leave right now. I know where he lives. Winnie, let’s go, we’re kicking some ass.” Phoenix jumps up again, but not fast enough that Seren couldn’t grab her arm to stop her.

“It’s not his fault…” Seren chokes out. “I’m so bad at this whole thing… I- I- I-” Seren’s eyes well with tears again, thinking back at what Mark had yelled at her. Nix’s sees Ren’s lip quivering and she hugs her.

“How about some pizza? The one from the little place down the road?” Phoenix coos, trying to be comforting. Seren nods and Nix’s is up, making a phone call and ordering right away.

Sicheng warns Seren before he flicks a light on, only to come and sit next to her on the couch. He wasn’t one to be very affectionate, so when he took her into a light hug it caught her off guard. He rubbed her arm, and Seren relaxed a bit. "What ever happened, it'll work out…" he says as Phoenix comes back into the room.

The sit around the table to pick at the pizza and Phoenix asked what happened. Both her and WinWin listen intently. Seren confides in them that she may have messed up the relationship and it was her fault and her fault only. That Mark only reacted the way he did because she pushed him there. She had to pause through tears and catch her breathe here and there. As Nix cleans the mess from the pizza, she finds the picture in the trash with the broken frame. “Don’t throw it out so fast, Ren..” She says, lifting the unharmed picture from the broken glass. "Not yet. If things go bad, we'll burn it. But not yet."

When Mark eventually gets home, his head hangs low and he runs his hand through his hair. Johnny sits on the couch, looking at the kid who he watched grow up sulking. "You look rough.." he mutters out. When Mark blankly stares back at him, he knows it's bad. "What happened?"

"I made Seren cry."

"Oh shit."

"What do I do?" Mark's eyes shoot around, seeming to try and find an answer in the space behind Johnny. Johnny tries to help but he don’t know how to. He had fucked up and he didn't want to accidentally make Mark fuck up too. He suggests going and talking to Taeyong, who's probably more level headed at this point.

Mark takes himself to go to Taeyong's room, but stops when he looks through the slightly open door. Athena and Taeyong were entangled with each other. It was innocent, loving, their own little world and Mark could feel the lump in his throat. He wonders if they ever fight, but decided that he would leave them be. They were happy, he didn't want to intrude.

Mark paces in his room, contemplating about calling Seren and apologizing profusely for how he reacted. He overreacted and he knows. "Fuck." He said to himself as he walked out of the front door. He heads next door. He hesitates, pulling his hand back a few times before he actually works the nerve to knock. He’s half expecting Cordelia to shut the door in his face when she opens it but she looks at him, confused. He looks at her, his eyes a bit bloodshot and puffy. “Can I come in?”

Cordelia nods her head as he slumps into the house. He sits on the couch and rests his head in his hands. Cordelia shuts the door and turns to look at the sorry excuse of a normally bubbly and happy Mark. She sits next to him, but he stares off into space. "What happened?"

"You don't know?" Mark perks up a bit, looking at her. Cordelia can see he's been crying now and her heart sank a little. "I- she didn't tell you?"

"Who? Seren?"

"Yeah."

"I haven't talked to her today." Cor checks her phone and looks back at him. "Should I know something?"

The question makes Mark swallow hard. "I yelled at Seren." He chokes back a bit but he starts to cry regardless, "and she cried and I feel like shit. I didn't mean to yell, I don't know why I yelled. It just happened. God, she looked so sad. That's not how I wanted to tell her."

Cordelia stood up and held herself back from doing anything to hasty. "You did what? And tell her what? What did you tell her?" Even though she was able to hold back her hands, her tongue didn't quite get the memo fast enough. "I swear to god Mark, I'll deck you right here."

Heavy eyes lift to stare at her, she's never seen Mark like this. He's pitiful, she couldn't lie. He licked his lips before he spoke. "I love her, Cor."

Cordelia drops down next to him, cupping his face in her hands. He pulls back a but, confused at the action. "You said what?"

"I doesn't matter, I screwed up. I left and slammed the door and she screamed. I heard something fall." He starts to cry again, even with his attempts to wipe his face off. "She told me to leave."

"Oh." Normally Seren wasn't like that. Cordelia would have known if something was seriously wrong in the relationship.

"She said she needed time to think… I just didn't know how to go about it. I reacted too fast. I pushed her too much. I should know better. It just frustrating when she keeps her emotions bottled up when I just want to help." Mark takes a deep breathe for the first time since he had walked in.

"Oh God…" Cordelia knew what was going on. "Oh, Mark, you didn't do anything wrong." She stood up, going to get him a glass of water and sat on the coffee table to face him. "Just talk to her, okay? Go home, send her a text and let her know you're still there."

He nods, drinking the water before he gets up. Cordelia gave him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before he walks back home. He sits on the front steps, writing out a message. He lays back on the concrete to look at the sky. It was a little more lonely looking at the stars without her.

Seren nervously taps her foot on the floor. The smell of coffee normally made her feel a bit sick, but today she felt sick before stepping foot in the shop. She feels her stomach do flips when Mark walks in. His hands were tucked safely into the pocket of his hoodie. She recognized it. She still didn't understand why the sleeves had to be a different color, but he had always looked nice in blue. Mark's head was spinning when he saw her. She looked better, but he still hurt thinking about the way she looked when he saw her last. He pushed the thought aside as he sat across from her. The air felt different than the first time they had been here together and it seemed so far away now. The way she giggled when she read a cheesy line to him, how she pointed out words she couldn’t pronounce, and how she had highlighted some lines that remind her of him in her book.

_“You’re lucky..” She laughed._

_“Why?”_

_“Cordelia would kill me if she knew I defaced my favorite book just so I could remember what lines to show you.”_

_“I guess that makes me twice as lucky, let’s not tell her about this. I need you to stay alive. I’d be lost without the north star.”_

"Hi.." she spoke softly, breaking him out of his thoughts. She had to tell him this time.

"Hey." Mark's voice was low. He felt terrible. He just wants to take her hands and hold on to them, as she gently cups the hot coco she must have gotten while waiting. “I’m sorry.” Mark speaks up. “Really, I am. I feel terrible. I should have never raised my voice at you. I know how it makes you feel. I just didn’t know how to process the situation.” He rambles until Seren cuts him off.

“So am I.” Seren looks at him in the eyes. She had looked at them all the time, but the lighting made them sparkle. She adored his dark eyes, the way they seemed to hold a bit of a galaxy of their own. Mark could feel his face warm up, he was almost positive his nose was red at the way she cracked a small smile. Seren doesn’t realize she’s smiling. “I really should have just told you..” She starts, before she loses the nerve.

“I shouldn’t have pestered you.”

“Mark, listen.” Seren hushed him, sweetly. “I was scared. I’m still scared. But I thought about it and I know you’ll be nothing but honest with me.” She looks down, feeling embarrassed thinking about it. This all could have been avoided had she just said it before. “I was just scared you wouldn’t be ready yet. Like, I knew I was ready, but I wasn’t sure.” She trails off a bit, taking her lip under her teeth. “I love you, Mark.”

His eyes shoot up to look at her again and he could kick himself. He thought about asking Cordelia to do it later for good measure. He sighs in relief. He was so stupid. “God, I’m an idiot.” He wishes he had told her he loved her earlier, so that maybe this wouldn’t have happened. He had a cute idea and everything and now he’d never get the chance to have that first I love you back.

“But you’re my idiot.” Seren smiles as she says it.

Mark’s heart flutters. “I love you too, Serenity.” This time her name wrapped itself around her and she felt warm. He felt it was right to start a new chapter with her in the same coffee shop she read that book to him in, after all.


End file.
